What I Will Teach My Girls About Meanies

It’s only happened a few times, but I know it will happen more. These girls will cry. They will be hurt. This is what I want them to know, at any age:

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  1. Remember Who You Are

You are a daughter of the Most High. Before you were formed in my womb, your identity was known. You were created with thought, perfection and a purpose. You are loved- so loved, that there’s nothing you can do to get away from it. No matter what: you are prized, treasured and sung over by our Father. No one can change that, match that, or tear it away.

 

2. You Don’t Have to be Everyone’s Friend

You must be kind, you must be honest. But that doesn’t mean hurting yourself in the process. I would much rather you have one beautiful, life-giving friend, than see you give yourself to a lot of people who would tear you down. It is better to be by yourself than with people who make you like yourself less. Be wise with who you spend your time and emotions on. You don’t have to be fearful, but if you are hurt you go ahead and protect your heart while God heals it.

 

3. Rejection Hurts

It hurts so bad. And you will feel it. You will feel it at five with your brothers. Ten, with your friends. Thirty, with acquaintances who don’t deserve the time of day, and fifty with someone in your circle. Go ahead, feel it. There’s nothing wrong with being sad and feeling lonely. Just don’t stay there.

 

4. Not Everyone Will Like You

You can bend over backwards and someone will still find something against you. You can pretend to like what they like, pretend to agree when it pains you inside. It doesn’t matter- relationships that don’t allow you to be you just won’t last. Be genuine. Your real friend will love you no matter what. Not everyone liked Jesus, either.

 

5. Drama is a Choice

My precious daughters, if you are finding a lot of emotional upheaval in your life, if there is a lot of roller coaster affections, a lot of unease and a lot of misspent energy, make sure you are not the cause. Guard your heart from relationships that take the focus off of what’s important and center it on yourself or someone else. High school is a place; it shouldn’t be a mentality. Don’t make yourself the center of the universe, and stay away from those who think they are.

 

6. Be Better

They will gossip. They will lie. They will treat you unfairly. You are better than that, and I expect more from you. Don’t talk about them, even when it’s true. Be mad, but don’t stay angry. Forgive them, move on and hold your head high. Pray and ask God to show you when you’ve unwittingly or purposefully made someone feel this way. Make it right if you can. Remember where you came from, and most of all, where you’re going. You choose who to spend your time, emotions and tears on. Choose wisely.

 

I wish I could protect you from people who will hurt you, I wish that I could make the world so much better. But the truth is, you need that hurt. You need that pain. You need to see the real treasure a good friend is, so that you won’t waste your emotions and trust on something that isn’t real. And most of all, it points you to the God who made you, so that you can see and feel His presence when everyone else has left. You are so adored.

 

And if all else fails, call me. I’ll take care of it.

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3 comments

  1. This is soso good Sandra. You have such a gift for writing as well as being a mom. I love that line. High school is a place it shouldn’t be a mentality. You nailed it.

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